One Thousand Kisses

Hiya Blogspot,

Hmmm everyone seems to be switching to Tumbler.
Fuck that. I like blogspot :)

So not much has been happening since my last blog. I went to another rave on the 18th. Puspop.
That was pretty great. I saw a few people I knew there. Some old friends like my friend Monique A.K.A Mimey and Shelby who I met when I was at Natalie's sister's parties. It was fun being there, I was giving people kisses left and right, BUT I was not being a slut about it.
I brought Cody with me cause it was his first rave and he brought a freind. I glad they weren't following the whole night. They did their own thing while I did mine. I met a bunch of new friends. I love making new friends. But it was fun when I was with them. I will fur sure being going to more with them. Well at least Cody, his friend's mum found out about it i gusss. Cody thizzed for the first time that night too. Thank god he didn't act burnt or anything. That would have been a problem. He had to leave early. But good thing he did cause the cops came and shut it down at like 12. So i had no where's to go. So I mobbed with some people to the trolley station. Then hung with some people and long story short, we ended up getting caught up by the cops for being out past cerfew. It was like 2 maybe 3 in the morning. The cop called my mum but she wasn't awake so he left a message. So the people i was with, their mum gave me a ride to Dylan's house. When i got there at like 3:30AM, i threw rocks at his window and asked if I could crash there. So he let me sleep on his couch. He's the best friend for letting me do that. But like two days later my mum actually heard the message so I'm grounded for the rest of the breaak. Sucks. But people are aloud to come over, I'm just not aloud out of the house. So hopefully Dylan is coming over for New Years and since my mum knows I smoke bus we're just gonna toke it up for new years x)

But besides being grounded and shit. Life is just movin along. I will hopefully be switching school. I wanna go to SD Charter so I can hurry up and finish school and leave California and go live back in Denver with my sister. Life will be much easier over there.

Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop

Hey blogspot,

Haven't really wrote in here in awhile. I've been sorta busy and not having a computer could be another problem too. Not much has changed except that I've became closer friends with Cody. Maybe a little to close in my case. You could say I started to develop feelings for him, evening knowing he's gay. But the things he says to me and/or does makes/made me think he isn't fully. And I was stupid enough to think that he liked me saying he would "go straight" for me. He even "asked me out" once. But I don't know what was up with that. He jokes a lot.

(That made me think; I've been asked out 3 times, and then had the person change their mind the next day. iFail)

Well I hung out with him today cause he went to camp over the weekend and I was excited to see him, but he brung some friends with him. One of them left but the other came to Barnes and Nobles with us. We were havin nice time. Then Cody tells me that they were texting each other back and forth and sayin that that guy likes him or some shiit. So I was just like okay whatevers.
Then were walking around Macy's and that guy pulled Cody away and did something. That's when my stomach started hurting and I had to go. I had to go to practice for the play I'm in anyway. He kept apologizing the whole walk to the trolley. I almost started crying while we were walking, but i kept myself together. He kept asking what was wrong. Of course I didn't tell him cause a) that guy was right there and b) casue I didn't wanna start crying in front of him.
So he texted me. And when I was on the bus I told him the honest reason why I got upset was cause I wanted it to be just me and him in the first place and that shiit happing made me super jealous and made me realize how much I actually liked him. It's stupid and I hate it. I started liking him casue I thought I would actually have a chance with him some day. Guess I was wrong....like always. But he is a great friend regardless how I feel about him or visa versa.

On a completely different note, I will have to be without my best friend for a week :(
He went outta town with his parents so he won't be back until this Sunday. I miss him already.
He's not the only person I miss though.
Louise, I Miss You...

Slayin The Dragon

Hey blogspot,

This has been a pretty fun weekend. On Saturday, Andrew and I went down town to meet a freind he's been talking to. I was hoping it would not turn out like the Christine Vagina incident (me getting a bad vibe from her and turning out to be a fake ass bitch) but she turned out to be pretty awsome. Chandler is her name and she's our new BFF :)


Today was fun too. Hung out with Sara. I found an amazing sword on my way to the bustop so we carried it around everywhere and SLAYED BITCHES LEFT AND RIGHT! haha
We went to Parkway. We hung out with Alyssa and her boyfriend and friends for a bit. It was nice seeing her. It's always nice seeing her :) When I go to parkway, I never realize how popular I am. Not to sound like I'm full of myself or anything, but I know a lot of people. It's pretty crazy haha
But i dont like going there casue there are to many people in there mid 20's that need to get out of the mall and get a damn job. And way to much drama. Just stupid shiit.

Wednesday is gonna be super fuuun :0

I Feel You In My Heart.

Hey Blogspot,

It's been a little while, only because I don't have access to a computer much anymore. But it's weird that I don't even really care that much neither. I've been pre occuipied. Pretty much with that certain someone that I've been talking about. I've been spend the majority of my time with them hoping something will happen. But he basically says nothing is gonna happen between us untill summer. Summer is a long ways away...and something can happen between then and now
And I don't want that to happen cause for some reason, I just wanna be with him.

He says that when we do go out that he thinks we will have a good relationship and it will be good."There is Always Hope"

I'm just not to clear on why it can't happen now.
It's funny cause if we do end up going out now, I don't think anything would really change between us. I mean, sure we would be a little more intimate like a little kiss here and stuff, but like, But the way we are, that would be just a nice relationship in my eyes. I personally think the best relationships work with a friendship first. Well mine and Alyssa's didn't really but I'm almost positive mine and his will. At least I hope.

So yesterday is Halloween. I've had better. Nuff Said.

I also think it's funny that even though I'm over Alyssa
I still can't listen to the song "Happy" by NevershoutNever!
Like I Said, It's funny.

Accomplished.

Hey blogspot,

It's been a while. My mum took my laptop cause of my grades in school but it's back now and I got a bunch to talk about.

Last Friday, I went to my first Rave. That was pretty fun, until the cops shut it down and we had to dip and then it got less fun. But I will hopefully be going to more.

I think i'm finally over Alyssa. But I still care for her a lot and It KILLS me to see her hurt. And it makes me wanna hurt anyone who makes her feel less than she is.

On a better note...sorta...the person I was talking about in a previous blog, the one I like, asked me out last Thursday. I didn't say Yes right away cause we were both REALLY baked and I didn't want him (yes it's a him) to regret it the next day. He found out I liked him cause of a drunken game of Truth or Dare and he asked me if I did. It took me a while to respond ("MAN this is some good fruit punch *siiip*") but i eventually did. Then the next day when we were smokin he wanted to talk about it and it ended with him saying he liked me too and he wanted me to be his girlfriend and I was soo baked and I couldn't really process what was going on and didn't really want too cause I was afraid. Of what? I don't know. Maybe of "Waking up"....
Cause when I'm high, I feel like I'm dreaming anyways and him saying all that just tripped me out and like made me feel like I needed to "wake up". But I wasn't dreaming and It was happening. I kept telling him he didn't know what he was saying and I didn't want him to say it and change his mind the next day, so He said he would ask me again the next day and give me time to think about it.
So the next day rolls around, and I'm waiting for it. All day I wait for it. Then at the last min I ask him, "So I guess you changed your mind?" And he tells me he didn't change his mind and that he thinks we should take it slow and keep doing what were doing and see where it goes.
I don't really know what taking it slow means since we've known each other for a while now. But I guess I'll just have to roll with the punches life throws at me.

I had a magical walk home from Alyssa's today though. She lives rather far from the trolley station, about a 45 min walk. It took me about an hour. I took a "short cut" through these woods and got lost. I was kinda struggling to find my way out with out going back the way I came. I had to go through webs and sticks and branches and step in mud and under trees. But It was a pretty amazing feeling when I finally made it out. I felt rather accomplished and proud of myself. When I was out I sat on this wall and just sat there, with twigs and little webs in my hair and looking back through the woods and being happy I made it out on my own.
No help.
No distractions.
Just Me, Myself, And I.
And that's a pretty amazing feeling when you know you can make yourself feel that way without the help of others. I'm not saying I don't need anyone's help with "finding my way out", I'm just saying, I can do it perfectly well on my own if I need to.


Maybe it's a sign that things are starting to look up again.
It is possible. Things are changing
I like change but at the same time I hate it.
I want my friends to change with me and not leave my side.

Hey Andrew,
Imissyou.

That's All She Wrote.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was just content. Nothing interesting. Hanging out with Andrew was the highlight of my day.
Alyssa's getting a new boyfriend. She asked me if I would be okay with that.
Stupid question.

FuckMyLife.
Everything is getting really shitty lately.
School Sucks too
>.<

I just wanna dig myself a hole and just stay there forever.
Just away from everything so nothing can hurt me.

Realization.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was a pretty good day. Hung out with Cody. Made him look sexy and what not x)
It's always fun hanging out with him. I'm making a bunch of new bffls this year :)

I had a weird realization today. Thaat I like someone. I kinda knew this but now I actually know. It's weird cause I didn't realize how much I talked about them and/or thought about them until today. I don't want to like them though. It could happen, but I don't want it to. I have my reasons.
Mainly cause I don't wanna get hurt. And I'm pretty content with what we got anyway :)
I just gotta resist temptation.

But I don't like having more than one person on my mind
I barely like have one person on my mind constantly.
This is just getting ridiculous.

Dear Tia,

Dear Tia,

All this stops now. These feelings you have for her need to stop cause it's never gonna happen again. Be fuckin thankful you guys are still friends. That should be enough. That's all you need, you said yourself. " I don't need someone else to be my "significant other" to make me happy...." But you know deep down you do. You actually don't NEED to but it would help. I don't understand why you're so hung up on her. You guys dated for what? Two? Three weeks? What is that compared to other couples that last months and years. It's nothing. You guys have such a great time when you two are together. Don't go messin shit up just cause you're being a pussy bitch about the situation
You seriously just need to suck it up and move on. Sure, you can cry a few rivers, but you better build a damn good stable bridge and get over it. You saw the tittle, I know you did, and you wanted it to be about you. It's not. I know how much you want it to be. But there is a 99.9% it's not. Don't hold your fuckin breathe on that last percent. I don't mean to be so negative. But this is the only way your gonna get through to yourself. She was an amazing girlfriend, you know this. She's a great friend too, can't you just settle for that? I know you're always gonna have that little speckle of hope that she will suddenly change her mind. I know you believe in second chances and thirds and sometimes even forths. You just gotta go with the flow of things. Sometimes they might not go the way you planned or hoped, but Life's a bitch and then you die.
Nuff said.
So maybe in the far far future, something might happen, and if not, oh well. But you're gonna always have that that little ounce of hope huh? Ha, I know you too well.

Love Always,
Tia

The Outback.

Hiya Blogspot,

This has been a pretty great weekend :) I spent it with Alyssa. We were suppose to go on a magical adventure to Hillcrest on a count of she never been there. BUUT she met up with some friends and decided I go and hang out with them. Not gonna lie, I was pretty upset cause that's the second time my plans got changed cause of someone else. But she convinced me with free bud so haha.
Well when we finally met up we went to these woods where her friends were. One of them I knew from like kindergarten. It was cool smokin with him and the others. Then three of them left to eat so it was just Alyssa and her friend Gabe and I. We moved deeper into the woods we were by and found this perfect spot. We decided to call it "The Outback" But you have to say it in an Australian accent. Gabe thought of that. Then the other came back with a box of pizza and we had a piece. We had to of smoked about 20-30 bowls that day. It was fuckin crazy. We smoked non-stop for about a hour and a half. When we finally stopped, we got up and walked to Mcdonalds casue we had killer munchies. We get there and order 5 double cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a mc flurry. Gabe passed out at the table. His eye's were bloodshot red since his eye are blue. But It was funny. Then I went to Alyssa's to spend the night. We were super high still but i taught her "Your Call" on the guitar and then just turned on a video of Family Guy and passed out on the floor of her bedroom.
When we woke up we chilled at her house for a bit, then went on a magical adventure and smoked in a sewer. haha it was eerry in there. Then we took the bus to go venture for food. We went and got Taco Bell (Since Alyssa FAILS and wouldn't let me get Sonic!). After Taco Bell, we went to "The Outback" and smoked like two more bowls. Then we decided to go to Ian's house. On the way Alyssa almost killed us by trying to walk over an unfinished bridge. We eventually got to Ian's where he serenaded us with his guitar and let us lay on his obnoxiously comfy bed. Then we all laid down and watched South Park until I had to leave. So I walked all the way back to the trolley and went home.
Overall, great weekend. It's always nice hanging out with Alyssa.
I still miss holding her and stuff but I'm just thankful we're still real close friends. I don't know why, but I always have an inch of hope left in my. If I like someone enough, I wait for them.
But that's something I need to stop doing before it screws something up.

Kick Rocks.

Hey Blogspot,

Today wasn't such a great day. Yesterday was better so ima tell you about yesterday :)
Yesterday I hung out with Dylan. We went to church and then I spent the night.
I love hanging out with him. He's like the ONLY friend who I have not gotten into any fights with, Don't get irritated with, and makes me feel better about myself. He HARDLY points out the negatives. And is pretty much there when I need him.
I'm not saying none of my other friends do that, cause of course they do. But I don't give Dylan credit. I remember a little while ago, how it would be late at night but neither one of us would hesitate to call one another when we were having problems. Cause we were going through the same ones. I wish I could still do that. But I'm thankful that he's there when he is.
I've made a new friend :) Wendy is her name. We're gonna be crazy old ladies together with purple and neon green hair :D
I've gained a friend and lost one, Natalie. She's found her new group of friends. More power to her. Kick Rocks; Deuces.

So I still haven't had my lucid dream yet. I haven't really been trying though, but my dreams have been getting a tad bit better. Just a tad. But soon I will master the power of
a Lucid Dreamer.

:)

Lucid Deamer.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was an amazing day. I hung out with a friend I haven't seen in AGES. Cody :D We went to Hillcrest with Devin and looked around some shops. Then Devin left so Cody and I went to Jack in the box casue we're fat and like to eat. Now Cody is VERY fluent in ASL (American Sign Language). He can pretend to be deaf and get discounts on things. Like...our food at Jack in the box! The total was 3 something and we only had two somethin haha. Cody has magical Sign language powers. Did you kow there is porn for deaf people?? DeafBunny.com
Look it up xD
HaHa Oh I'm so glad we hung out today. I missed him.

So for the last few nights, I've been trying to have a Lucid Dream. For those who don't know what those are, It's a type of dream you have when in the dream, you are aware that you are actually dreaming. It's pretty cool because you're able to control what goes on in it. And my dreams have been getting outta hand lately and I'm not liking it. I would like to have at least one thing that I am in control of. Everything else is outta wack. Sometimes I just wish I could live in a Lucid Dream. Life would be much easier. I've had one Lucid Dream that I could remember. I didn't do anything amazing though. But If I have one anytime soon, I just wanna fly. That's it. I just wanna fly. Where?
Around the City...
Around the State...
Around the Country...
Around the World...
I just want to keep flying out until there is only silence.
The silence isn't that bad.
Just Me, Myself, and serenity.
Or fly somewhere and be something amazing.

But then snapping back into to reality, and I'm only me.
Just Tia.
Not as amazing as everyone thinks...

Ten Million Fireflies.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was a pretty great day. I hung out with my BFFL Dylan :) I love hanging out with him. He always knows how to make me laugh. Captain Dilllard + Tituba= Best Pirates on Candid Island :D

Yesturday was Andrew's birthday. He is now 15 finally. But the age doesn't really matter to me since I consider him older than me in my head anyway x) Natalie and I went to his house and baked brownies. Then Jay and Alyssa came over and we all chilled for a bit then they left and I spent the night. Good day :)

Saturday was a really good day. It was my friends brithday party and she's like loaded so she had her party at this really nice house. I invited Alyssa with me. It was fun none the less. It was the first time we saw eachother since the break up and it went very well. But I noticed, the way I act towards her, I can see why she started liking me only as a friend. The way I acted towards her didn't change from when we were together, beside me holding her and her hands and stuff, that I miss very much :l It was weird not being able to hold her. But I got over it after we...loosed up at the party. But I'm glad were still close friends. I'm pretty much over it.
The situation, Not her...
I even saw my ex boyfriend there. Now I was NOT expecting that. But It was nice to see him. He lost a lot of weight and cut off his jew fro x) He looks good :)

But all and all, things have getting a wee bit better. Life is slowly picking its self back up and going back into rotation. Slowly, but surely :)
I even have a new crush on somone. BUT I AIN'T TELLIN NO ONE SO DON'T ASK.
It will never happen :p haha

"I'd like to make myself believe,
That Planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep). " -Owl City,Fireflies

I Can Do Bad By Myself.

Hi Blogspot,

We'll it was nice while it lasted. It was AMAZING while it last. :(
I got a little text during English class while i was in instene actress mode. It was from my "Sweet" Alyssa. And it said the words everyone dreds to hear; "Uhm can we talk". My stomach dropped from there. I tried not to think the worse, but of course the worse happened. She broke up with me via text message. I was speechless. I couldn't move, or breathe and I just bursted into tears as I was reading aloud to the class. My friend Alec asked me if I wanted to go outside and he walked me outside and I told him what happend and he just gave me a hug and told me how everything is gonna be okay. He's a real great person who conferts me when I'm upset with relationship problems. I seriously cried for 2 hours. From 4th period to 6th. It was horrible. Everyone was trying to cheer me up at lunch. I got a few laughs but it didn't really help...

Her reason is still confusing. She said cause yesterday when we hung out, she said she felt "odd" and that she can't be more than friends with me. So I gusse that one day, overthrew every other amazing momments we had. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I serisously give up.
And I DGAF about what other people say.

Relationships are completely pointless in my opinion. Nothing last forever. Relationships have absolutly no point to them. Sure you're with someone who makes you the happiest you've ever been in your life and you'd be lucky to call them yours. But I have friends I can call MY friends and will be there for me. I don't need someone else to be my "significant other" to make me happy. Yeah sure I was oh so happy with Alyssa and I thought she felt the same. But all I'm ever gonna be is a friend. So that's all I really need. And people wonder why I'm so afraid to fall in love. This reason right here. Heartbreak is a bitch. I don't need to be in a relationship that has no actual point to it then just to be together. I Can Do Bad By Myself

I don't want to stop being her friend though. I care for her to much to throw her outta my life.
I think i'm always gonna have feelings for her. But that's something I'm gonna have to get the fuck over now huh? I'm just hurt and feel stupid that I actually thought we were gonna last. I gusse Andrew was right when he said "For now". I'm still very hurt and just might be for a bit.
But I gusse Time Heals All Wounds.

[Insert Clever Tittle Here]

Heey bloggspot,

I'm really loving the way life is going for me lately. School's going great. All my teachers are pretty chill and nice. Alyssa and I are doing pretty great. Life is just looking up.

Today was a pretty great day overall. I woke up at Andrew's and we went to church. Funny thing happened there: Since it's a mexican church, I have to get a translator ear piece thing and there is a lady who sits and translate it. The precher was going over a verse and the translator is like,
"They put the wrong verse in the english translation, It's in the bible, look it up."
And then i just start LAUGHING soo hard and Andrew looks at me and I tell him and he starts laughing to. I though it was pretty funny.

After church we had lunch at Andrew's grandma's house then Andrew and I headed to the mall to meet up with Alyssa and we all just hung out at the mall. I saw some friends I haven't seen in a while. So that was fun :)

I am serisouly soo happy with Alyssa. I've never been this happy with someone.
And I'm glad it's her.<3

Psycho Beach Party.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was a GREAT day. Alyssa and I had a double date wtih Ian and Natalie. We all took the trolley and went to the beach. It was pretty amazing. We had fun splashing in the waves and diving and yelling at Ian to stop swimming so far out so we wouldn't have to save him for dying in the rip tides. We had a bunch of laughs. It was a perfect day to end the summer :)
Alyssa and I even had our first kiss<3

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW! I'm sooo excited!
New Year, a better Me :D

Crossroads..

Hey blogpost :)

Today was a nice daay :) Alyssa came over and we watch movies in my hot-as-balls house.
We watched 'Ice Age' and 'SawII'. We had to lay sharing an ice pack to keep cool. haha
I love being in her company. We have lots of laughs and that makes me happy. I'm so happy were together<3

School starts this Tuesday and I couldn't be more excited! I'm gonna go back with a new attitude. I'm gonna try and be nicer to people, get better grades and all that chest nut. I'm really gonna try hard. This is my junior year, I should make the best of it. I'm gonna strive to be more responsible too. I got some job application the other day so ima get a job, get my own money and buy my own stuff haha. LIKE A CAR! Haha

I like how much happier i've been with Alyssa :)

"No one hears her lonely sigh,
There are no blankets where she lies.
In all she deepest dreams the gypsy flies
With sweet Alyssa..."

At Last.

Hey Blogspot,

I'm am pretty much the happiest I've been this whole year. Yup, I'm finally going out with Alyssa :)
I spent the night at her house last night and we were drinking a little bit and laughing. Natalie kept calling Alyssa being a bug! But I gusse I owe her some credit. x)
The whole night I wanted to ask her out, but she did tell me she wanted some time. So I decided not too. Then today we just chilled at her house all day. We watched Pokemon:The First Movie.
Then we played on OMGPOP. (Shit's addicting) And we just chilled pretty much. The her dad took me home. Once I got home, Natalie Aimed me saying I should REALLY ask Alyssa out and I told her about what she said about waiting a bit. AND THEN, I get a message from Alyssa and it's her saying she was to shay to ask me out today in person but really wanted too and she regret saying that she needed time. Then she asked if I would would I go out with her. I was just like,"I thought you'd never ask<3" I was so happy. I STILL am!
This is gonna work out
I have faith in this<33

You Had Time.

Hi Blogspot,

Today was a pretty lazy day at Andrew's. Nothing interesting.
Alyssa spent the night at my house the other night. We watched "Identity" then got high then watched "Halloween". Then fell asleep. When we woke up and I made breakfast for her again :)
We watched the rest of "Halloween" and then chilled and talked. Then we went and smoked again in my bathroom. That was really fun. "DID YOU HEAR THAT?!"
We had a great time when she was here. I was soooo close to asking her out. Like that was seriously all I thought about all that day and last night and the beginning of today.
I was commenting her today and told her I was in a INTENSE THINKING MODE! And she asked what I was thinking about. So I told her I was thinking about her and me and how I wanted to be with her. I had REALLY bad butterflys in my tummy waiting for her to reply. They all fell to the pit of my stomach when she replied. She asked if I would be mad if she said she wanted a little bit more time. I was kinda confused. And I still am. I was gonna ask what for, but I decided to just tell her I had all the time in the world. Which I do and I'm patient. It's just that I think waay to much about things. And when I do think, It's always bad. I always have negative thoughts about things like this. It sucks really bad. Over thinking shit is bad.
I hate falling for people so fast.
The best I can do is wait. I really hate the waiting game. I've been playing it waaay to much this year.
I hope this won't turn out like the Rebecca situation. Speaking of which..her and her boyfriend broke up. I feel bad for her cause I knew how she felt about him and still does. But now he can't hurt her anymore.
If Alyssa and I hadn't gotta so close, I would have jumped at that chance. But we did and I won't and now I'm gonna wait for Alyssa and see where it goes. Hopfully a different route than Rebecca and I. That one had no chance in Hell. But maybe Alyssa and I will be different. But if not...I don't know. I'm just hoping it all works out in the end.

Sooner Than You Think

Hiya blogspot,

Today was a pretty lazy day. I hate lazy days alone. Alyssa could have been here with me but no. My mum's a hoe.
I talked to Alyssa about things. I can't really describe how happy she makes me. When I talk to her and especially when I'm with her. These feeling like crep up on me. haha but they aren't bad at all.
I can never say enough how glad I'm that we got close this summer :)
And I'm excited that we're gonna be together soon<3
I can't wait to see her tomorrow.

And I DGAF about what ANY of you think.
(Unless your suportive ^.^)

It's All For The Best

Hey Blogspot,

Little late writing in the blog but oh well.
I hung out with Alyssa today and had a great time. I always have fun when I'm with her.
I woke up like all happy today. Even when my mum woke me up for some stupid reason, I was all happy. She took forever to get to my house though cause she was school shopping x)
When she got over her, we took the bus and the trolley and rode to Downtown and ate at Jack in te box and played iSpy. Then we took the trolley to the Seaport village Stop and drank the rest of my maddog x) After that we took the trolley back and then took the long way back to my house since we were early. When we got to my house we decided to watch Saw5.
So all and all is was a pretty nice day
We have pretty magical times when we're together :)
Makes me happy once again that we became so close this summer
"No Matter What They Say, I'll Protect You. They Try To Hurt You I Will Be Your Spiderman"<3



Andrew's parents might go outta town again this week. MIGHT being the key word. But if they do, PARTY AT ANDREW'S! Fun Times x)

Ivan, Your a lame homo who is addicted to OMGPOP and needs an intervention<3

Happy

Hey blogspot,

Today was a pretty chill day. My Mum woke me up and took me to Denny's. she's been doing that like every weekend lately. Ehh Free Food :D Then I went to hang out with Andrew at his house.
Left my make-up so I can't look all pretty for Alyssa tomorrow :p Then Andrew and I walked to Telitubbie park. I'm always worried that I'm gonna run into Rodger and his girlfreind there one day. >_< Then the park got boring so we walked down to the mall and walked around Barnes and Nobles. I almost ate him. He crosses the line sometimes. But I still love him even if he is a BIG OL' MUDBUTT sometimes<33


I'm so very glad I told you how I felt about you
And I'm oh so very happy you feel the same.
Don't worry, I'm patient. <3

Take My Hand, Take my Whole Life Too.

Hiya Blogspot,

Today was bunches of fun. I went shopping with Devin. We first went to Torrid then we went to North Park and went Thrift Store shopping. I got a flannel shirt for $1! I will be going back there sometime soon haha. I love hanging out with Devin! My BFF<33

Thoughts going through my head right now:
School is almost here!
Wtf is this feeling of loneliness i get off and on
I think know I like someone, But don't know if I should...

Por qué??

Hey Blogspot,

Summer is coming to a close finally. I am super pumped for school! I'm going to be a Junior.
I'm excited but scared at the same time. It feels like it was only yesturday that I was in elementry school, swing on the swing sets and playing in the dirt. These school years are going by so fast and the next thing you know, I'm gonna be outta High School. It's funny how I don't feel any older. I might look it, but I don't feel it at all. Birthdays will go by but I still feel the same.
My school years are almost over and I still have my bestest friends by my side. And for that I'm thankful.

This summer has been one of the best. Not much has happended, but I met cool people and had some fun times and laughs. I'm really glad Alyssa and I became besties. We have became very close. Makes me happy :) I really hope we remain friends for a long time.

I like this quote from this short film "Try"
"It's funny how life works. The things you try to hold on to, try to remeber, those are what you end up losing. And everything to try to forget, or throw away, those are the things that end up staying. Like I said, It's funny"

The Douchebag Adventures Of Serina And Tia w/ Special Guest

Good Evening Blogspot

Today was pretty tiring. I hung out with Serina and Alyssa. Our original plan like exploded and nothing was going our way. We had major missions to do. First when Serina came over and we left, I need to get the money my sister sent to me but there was much trouble there and I ended up not being able to get the money that I need cause we wanted to get a 20 sack for Alyssa's friend. So Serina and I put the money we had together to get it.
Then, once we got to Santee, we had to walk forever away to meet up with Alyssa'a friend.

"AHMYGOD! I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS WAS STILL IN MY HAND!"

But before we went over there we stopped by Rebecca's house so i could give her her keychain.
ooooh jeeez :/

Then Alyssa's friend picks us up in the middle of the street and we go all the way to the other side of Santee and wait for about 20 mins for Cody's, Alyssa's friend, for his friend to bring the bud.
He finally come and Serina and I smoke a bowl. Then Alyssa's girlfriend called her and she had a crisis. So we had to leave and go get her. So Cody's friend gave us a ride.

"{Insert sad comment by Alyssa here}" Serina:"oh my god.....WE'RE IN A JUNGLE!"

Then we went to parkway with her girlfriend and there was this guy saying "Hi" to me at the trolley station and he kept poping outta no where. And I gusse he knew me casue I sure as hell had no idea who he was. But he kept popping out of the most random places and sitting with us and talking about random ass shit. Found out eventually his name was Cody. Still had no idea.
I also saw Rebecca with her boyfriend. -_- it took all my strength not to fly over the bench and snap his fuckin neck.
Serina and I were waiting for Alyssa to come back from walking her girlfriend home. Then when she came back we went and took the trolley back to Santee to hang out with Jay. We tried to go in the Vortex, but the vibe there was very depressing and there were bugs everywhere! We smoked a bowl there then took pictures in the dark. On the walk back Jay was scaring us with his ridiculousness. Him and Alyssa walked us tot he front of the park then we said out goodbyes. As we were walking, we hear Jay's loud ass yelling at ass from like a mile away and we could hear him like he was right next to us.

"OH TIA AND I CAN SMELL YOUR POO FROM HEEEERRREEEE"

All and all it was a pretty nice and tiring day. I'm about ready to pass out.
Movie day with Vinny Tonmrow :)

There's Gotta Be A Morning After.

Hey Blogspot,

My kickback was a bust. It didn't even feel like my party. And then i didn't even get to stay.
I bought a lot of alcohol. I didnt even get to drink any of it. My mum fails on my life.
Ima try and get emancipated from her, if its the last thing I do.

I spent everyday this week with Andrew. I missed him :)
I haven't seen Alyssa yet. That makes me sad.
But ima see her Saturday :D

Home (Not So)Sweet Home

Hey Blog Spot

I'm Home! Yay. -_- I got home at like 11. And came home to a drunk mum. Nice one mum. And we did nothing but argue since I've been here. That's all her fault. She really needs to stop drinking.
So shit like us yelling at eachother doesnt happen. 98.9% of the time we argue, she is at least tipsy.
She needs help.

Well I can't have my kickback at Jazzy's cause I gusse her mum won't let her have anymore parties or somthing. BUT Natalie's friend Haley saved my life and is letting me have it at her house. :D
Hopfully my mum doesn't come and shiit on my life like always.
Coming home to my mum is like the only thing I DIDN'T look forward too. I miss my sister already :(

I'm counting down the days till I go back.

Tower Of DOOM.

Hey Blogspot,

Yesturday was OH SO AMAZING! My sister and niece and I went to Elitch Gardens. Its this HUGE amusment park with a buttload of rides. I rode on this rollercoster with a loop for the first time! My niece would be afraid everytime we would go in line for a ride and get all pouty cause she didnt wanna go on, but after she got off she wanted to go on again. My sister made me go on the Tower of Doom! It was on of those rides that take you up and DROP you down. I HATE those rides. I would ride everything else, except that one. But she made me. It was a 200 foot drop. I almost pissed my self. But I had fun.

I miss all my friends terriably! I can't wait to get home and see them! That's the only reason why I won't stay another week. My friends NEED ME! xD My plane leave at 9:00 at NIGHT. I've never flew at night before. I'm going to the airport in my jammies ^^

Andrew and I are going to the beach with some friend on Monday. That should be fun :D
Then Thursday, my kickback at Jazzy's. That should be funner!

I'll Take The Chain From Off The Door

Hey Bloggspot

Yesturday I helped my sister move into her new house. Her other house was much bigger but she says this one is much cleaner since they had some problems when they moved into the other one. I really want a house with a basement. That would be pretty amazing.

So I found a place to have my "Welcome Back Kickback". Jazzy is kind enough to let me have it at her house. So that should be fun :)

I think I'm gettin a little home sick. But not HOME home. I just miss my friends, very much :(
BUT i'll be home in a week. I keep having dreams that I'm at home, and I'm all pissed off casue I wanted to stay in Denver...hmm...idk.

Don't Worry y'all! I'll be home sooner than ya know it!

Last Night I Pooped Tupac Shikar [Case Closed]

Hey Bloggspot,

I'm really liking Denver. Well I'm liking living with my sister. I will be coming out here again. Hopfully in the winter when it snows :D It rains a LOT and rather hard too. I like the rain though. I wouldn't mind living here. But I don't think my friends would love that idea. I know for suure Alyssa won't. Haha She's basicly the only one ive called since I've been here. Besides Andrew for a little bit. But he's having techniqual difficulties with his phone at the momment
so I don't really get to talk to him much. Beside occasional "Hi"s and "wats up"s on myspace :l


I feel forgotten....


Well on a good note, I went shopping today with my niece while my sister was at work.
I got three shirts and a new pair of pants. That makes me somewhat happy. Next week, my sister and neice and I are going to this amusment park with lots of rides :D
I'm excited :)

Denver Lows.

Hey Blogspot,

Today is/was my third day in Denver. I haven't been doing much but thats casue its the weekend. Tomorrow i'm going up to the school with my sister and help out with some books.
I like it here, I'm just upset that I couldn't go to Rebecca's kickback tonight >_<
I miss out on everythiing! Oh well, ima plan a Welcome Back Kickback when I get home. I just gotta find a place to have it.

I read your last blog and it made me smile. I'm glad you noticed how you were acting twoards me. You do tend to get like that often :l But it makes me happy that you notice when you do act that way and do your best to turn it around. That's when i'm most happy to call you My best friend. And no worries cause no matter how many times you try to push me away, I aint gonna buge.

Denver Highs.

Hey Blogspot,

I arrived in Denver yesturday. The Plane ride was okay. I slept a little bit. When i arrived at Denver airport, my sister and her daughter were there greating me with open arms :)
Denver is just as, maybe more hotter than San deigo. But the frequent rain stroms cool it off.
I'm really glad I have a super cool sister I can talk about things with (a smoke a blunt with every now and then lol) I really though I wouldn't like it here, but I do. Even I haven't been doin nothin but sitting around all day, I'm sure it will pick up. I got two weeks :) I'm in no rush to be home. I know my mum is though.

Some people say that your friendships in High School don't last. Maybe its a fight, or you just grow apart. I really hope that doesn't happen to us. I do see a change in our friendship from when we first met to now. It's diffrent. Maybe it could be seeing me for a whole school year. That might have been a mistake on both ours part. And I know I kinda got you into some bad habits, but I know that your smart and you make your own desisions, even if there not the best. Now that IS a mistake on my part. I'm Sorry. I see what's happening with us, it's happen to me before. I don't know if i want it to happen again. But who knows, it could be for the best?

Fly Like A Bird.

Hey Blogspot.

Today was a pretty okay day. Could have been better. I hung out with Dylan since I wanted to see him before I left. I wanted to see A LOT of people before I left. They just didn't really wanna see me I gusse, or were busy with other things. Alyssa wanted to see me too so she came by the mall and hung out with me for a bit. My new BFFL<3

Tomorrow at 10:30am I'm leaving for Denver. Alyssa wants me to call her before I go lol.
At least SOMEONE cares I'm leaving. Even if its only for a short while. My Mum was crying her eyes out, but that was mainly cause she was drunk.

I don't know why I'm so nervous to fly. I've done it many times before. Maybe its all the plane crashes on the news lately. I don't want that to be me. Which is why I wanted to see most of my friends as possible. I don't think they understand how afraid I am.


I really hate it when you act like you don't care. I know two weeks isn't a long time, but still. It's a possibility something could happen. What would your last memory of me be? Mine of you wouldn't be happy. And you still probably won't care after reading this and that's what worries me.

There Goes A Farm Truck.

Hey Blogspot,

My mum is insane. I gusse I left my blog up and my mum decided to read it ALL. So she found out about everything. She's basicly over it now. But I'm not aloud out late or spend the night anywhere for a while. So no more kickback for me for a long while. Although it sucks that I won't be here for Rebecca's kickback this weekend cause I'm leaving for Denver on Friday. Oh Well, I wouldn't wanna be tempted with alcohol or knockin her boyfriend in the back of the dome.

I've been hanging out with Alyssa quite a lot lately. She's becoming a a close friend :)
We went to the Pride Festival this last weekend. We had supah fun :D Rebecca was suppose to come with us on Sunday, but she decided to be with her boyfriend -_- pssh whatevevs. I had fun with Alyssa. And we ran into another friend of mine there too.

Alyssa and Andrew came over and spent the night last night. We had a magical time. We decided to go on a magical adventure to 7-11 at 1:00am. They my bestiess :)

Magical Picnics Of Wonder.

Hi BlogSpot :)

Today was a supah fun day. I hung out with Alyssa. We had a magical picnic in "The Vortex"(The perfect place Serina and I went to in Mast Park). She bought us Subway and we got a two liter bottle of soda and some pop tarts. I've never really hung out with Alyssa without Rebecca (she wouldn't come casue she was being lame) but it was quite fun :D We gotta have more magical adventures like that.



After our picnic, We went back to house where Rebecca was at casue she was staying with Alyssa for a bit. We just chilled there for a bit and played Hotel626 (very crazy scary game) and then he mum took me to the Trolley Station. All and all it was a pretty great day. I want more like it :)

Happy 4th Of July.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was a pretty good day overall. Andrew and I had our first 4th of July together. BEST FRIENDS! We watched fireworks at his Grandma's house :)

Okay so last night was pretty ridiculous. Jazzy had another kickback and Natalie and I decided to go but we swore we weren't gonna drink. But we did a little bit. Actually, I did A LOT a bit. :l
Shame on me. But that wasn't the intense part. We were planning on having the kickback at Jazzy's instead of in the field (Natalie and I didn't have to sleep there this time thank god). But when more people got there, we had to move it to the field. So before we went to the field, some of us had some drinks. Then we went to the field. A bunch of people were waiting over by there, so then we migrated up to there. We were all chillin and having a good time. Then all of a sudden, a BRIGHT light shines on us and at first, for some reason, I thought it was one of us who had the light. Nope. It was a spot light from a cop car. We all turn and BOOK it out of there. And to get to the field, you gotta go through this rather small hole. It was quite hard shoving 20 teenagers through that hole. And also to get there we have to walk around this thing and down a hill. Fuck that! We all flew off the edge. I slid like a slide. Natalie rolled. We all ran and ran and then came to a fence and went through some peoples backyard and flew into Jazzy's house. We all were stuffed in her room and wait silently. Shit was so intense. Then when everyone went home since we had to leave that alcohol, Me, Natalie, Jordon, his friend Richie and Jazzy's crush Amri spent the night.

I was being punished that night for drinking. Even a little bit. I was puking all night.
I really need to stop.

And to all you crazy bitches out there:
I Don't understand what your saying,
Go back where you came from
WHITE POWER.

(It's a joke. Don't have a cow)

Ain't No Fun.

Hey Blogspot,

Summer is not going so well. Besides the kickbacks, I've been doing pretty much nothing.
Sitting at home had been on my planner for the past few days. I need to get out of this house.
I don't like to be cooped up in the house. I was hoping this summer I would be going on MAGICAL adventures and meeting new peoples (maybe even new flings) but nothing. Pretty lame if you ask me. At least today was sorta fun. I went to the bay with Dylan and his church group. It was all chill until they start their preaching. I'm not quite the most religious person in the world. I have my reasons. I have different aspect on life.

I leaving for Denver in 23 days :)


&THUG LIFE is my BFF ^_^
js.

We All Turn Back To Dust.

Hi BlogSpot,

It's 9AM. I really should be in bed resting. I went to Jazzy's kickbaack. Got Muffed up outta my mind. But that was the fun part. Being drunk with Andrew and Natalie is always fun. Andrew almost got devoured. This huge guy, who is an angry drunk I've learned, said Andrew touched him and Andrew was only trying to help. But that guy got all mad. I had to protect him from that huge mofo. But then it all got better and people made up. Then I was helping other people. Like This girl Sam. She was drunk outta her mind, but I did my best to take care of her even though I was proboly just as drunk. Then when everybody left, Andreew Natalie, that huge angry guy and I made our way over to the bathrooms when we made "camp". I could hardly sleep. I was waking up every two minutes to throw-up. It was horriable. And the thing is, I didn't eat anything that day. So it made it like 10x WORSE!. When we finally got up to go at like 4:30 in the morning. I was still feeling like shit. On the Trolley ride.....ooh not good...the swaying of the trolley was NOT a good thing at all for my condition. I'm a bad person :l Then Andrew went to Natalie house so they could go to summer school and i get went to the trolley station. I feel asleep waiting for the bus casue I was there at like 5 and the first bus didnt leave untill like 5:45. So I just slept. I slept on the bus ride home. Went in my house, changed in my jammiies and I slept some more. Then My mum called me asking if I was home...She didn't suspect a thing :) Buutt I don't know. After tongiht, I don't think i'm gonna go to anymore kickback for a while. The morning after just isn't worth it.

I'm gonna go back to sleep.

Simple & Clean

Hi Blogspot.

Today was a pretty fun day if I must say so myself. I Hung out with Rebecca, Alyssa, Her Boy-Thing, and Jay. We just all hung out at the Santee trolley Circle and Rebecca and I played my guitar for tips. We made 70 cents. And that's because Alyssa's boy thing, Tyler, his friends put it in there. But his friend were such douchebags and they were just yelling and talking when Rebecca and I were trying to make music to get some money. So her and I walked off to find a diffrent place. Then Jay faggot face comes with us and scares everyone away when were trying to play. Then the rest of them come over and ruin everything. Alyssa baought a little plastic top hat to put tips in when we play and the damn thing would have been full of money if Jay wasn't so obnoxious. But overall, it was a pretty good day :)
I think I like her again :l

Jazzy is having another Kickback Thursday. Natalie and I are gonna go again and this time were bring Andrew :D But this time, we've got a plan and my mum won't shit of my life this time ^_^
And also were gonna come prepared. Since we won't have anywhere to crash again. We are just gonne bring blankets and be prepared to sleep outside haha.

I gusse my summer is getting a little better :)
I'm leaving on July 24th to go visit my sister in Denver. That should be fun :)

Lock-Down

Hey Blog Spot,

It's been a little bit. Not much has happened. I got grounded since i went to a friend of mine's kickback and i didn't call my mum and tell her where i was. But oh well, it was worth it. Besides Natalie and I not having anywhere to crash soo we had to sleep in the baseball feild we were chillin at. It was sooo cold and we were soooo drunk lol. I've been stuck inside for the past week. I need to get out! I miss Andrew :(

I don't think i like anyone right now. Since my mum took my laptop away i haven't been talking to Rebecca. So i guess I'm over her. Nothing was gonna happen between us anyway :l I did like this other girl named Jazzy. She's the one who had the kickback. I met her a while back at another friends party. I was kinda flirting with her that night even though we were piss drunk. Then I developed a crush on her. Then we never talked, and she went out with other people so I got over her. Then we started talking a little bit and i started to like her again and she invited me to her kickback and i was kinda excited to see her. But at the party there were other girls on her and stuff like that and i thought she liked someone else. But it's like whateves I don't think she would go for me any who. I fail in the relationship deparment.

Since I'm grounded and I've been stuck innside, I feel like my summer is wasting away. Plus even if i wasn't grounded i couldnt go anywhere anyway. I lost my bus pass. I lost it like the day before the last day of school. So i screwed casue the majority of my friends live a bus and a trolley ride away. I was very weary on telling my mum cause i've lost a few other bus passses in the past. And i needed it cause i have a Dr Appt. tomorrow and since my mum is stupid and she can't drive the car, we gotta take the bus and trolley there. But at the momment, we're like super poor. So she cried when i told her i lost it. She cried casue she says im throwing away money. I feel like shiit casue she says i make her feel like shiit. My life is just shiit right now. but you know what they say. Things get worse before they get better.

All The Things She Said.

Sup bloggspot.

I've been sick for the last few days. I feel muuch better now. I had a sore throat on Thursday, which was the last day of school. I'm suprised I didn't get emotional like usually do on the last days. Maybe cause i wasn't feel well. I was suppose to have another Douchbag Adventure with Serina and our friend Erin but I just wasn't really feeling it so I just went to Andrew's house so I didnt have to go home so I spent the night. On Friday, I just slept all day and Andrew nursed me back to health. My BFFL<33 :)

Nothing really interesting. Still talking to Rebecca :) She said she still likes me, BUT she's still with her boyfriend, who I do not take kindly to at all. Not only casue he's with her, but some things i've been told about him. But she thinks he's "perfect". She's blinded by love right now. But she'll see soon enough. But when she falls I'll be sure to catch her:)

God I'm soo cheesy xD

The Douchebag Adventures Of Serina & Tia

Hello BloggSpot :)

Today was a super fuun day with my BFFL Serina. We had an Epic adventure. After school, we took the Trolley to Santee and went to Mast park. We find this like PERFECT spot like deep in the jungle thing. We just sat there and blazed it up.Then on our waay to get some food, Serina was just acting crazy. She is super fun to be around when high! It was funny when I got Micky D's and we sat on the bridge and ate it. Now, Serina is a vegetarian. And she kept trying to attack me for my burger, BEGGING for a bite. She said she would eat one of the ducks if i didnt give her a bite. I laughed everywhere. She eneded up not getting a bite. I saved her from eating a poor cow, that I had no problem eating lol. Then we decided to find Jay to hang out with him casue he makes me laugh. I knew what street he lived on, just didn't know which house. So we texted Rebecca and asked her if she knew. She texted back like forever later after me and Serina like, walked away back to the park. We get Jay's number from her, and we call him up and tell him to get down there. We waited for half and hour and Serina was being impatiant so we left and walked back to the trolley station and went to barnes and nobles. We were so burnt out by then. It was pretty ridiculous. But I had fun :)

I just recently talked to Rebecca over Aim, I gusse she has a boyfriend now. That was kinda a slap in the face but at the same time I knew something like that would happen. We were talking (the guy she is with is sorta a dick btw) and then she asked if she could tell me something. I said of course and then she said this:

" i very much like you. but i dont think, i could go out with a girl. or else.. i prolly wouldve asked you out by now."

Hmmm :l I didn't really know how to respond to that. So i just said that it was nice to know and im glad she told me and that I'm still here for her. Which is all 100 percent true.
2009 is just not my year so far. I've been rejected 3 times already. FML. I fail.

Sleep sounds quite amazing.

Stay The Night.

Heeey Bloggspot,

We only have two more days of school! I'm pretty excited but at the same time, I don't want school to end. School keeps me busy and not bored at home. I should have signed up for Summer school, but I'm to lazy to get up if i REALLY don't have too lol.

Last night i got a GREAT night of sleep. Two reasons: one cassue i was high, and too cause i hadn't slept in two days. Friday night i slept at Andrew's. Then Saturday I went home and waited for my friend Ivan to come over because he was going to the Rock & Roll Marathon to vollenteer with me on Sunday. We had to wake up at 3AM. We (well I did) stayed up untill 3 and didn't bother getting any sleep. So I didnt sleep saturday night. Then Sunday ngiht Rebecca was having some problems, so I stayed up with her via AIM untill 4AM. We talked about a bunch. I liked it :) untill i fell asleep on her D: but it was okay casue i saw her on Monday. (which was yesturdaay) I had a great time with her and our friend Jay. We made out again, thanks to jayy :) Jayy is fun as hell to be around when your high xD

Last Friday was pretty fun too, besides Andrew being an ass. He was makin me mad on purpose. And he was making me sound like such a creeper. Emberessing me in front of her. Asshole -__- but yesturday was better anywho. Andrew seems like he doesn't want me to like her or somthing. I don't know whhyy. Maybe something he's not telling me? I dgaf. Haha All i know is that I like her. I don't even know if she still likes me. It was most likely just a little thing thing. But i DGAF once more casue she's still pretty amazing :)

Sleeep sounds good right about now :)

Bitches Get Beatdown.

Hey BloggSpot,

I'm so sick of people. Like serisouly, everyone is just pissing me off lately. Yesturday, I was talking to my friend Cody who also is best friend with Gingerfag. And he told me that Rodger is telling people that I went to his house and started talking shit about his girlfriend and his mum had to run me off the property calling a "fat nigger bitch". WTF?! I haven't even talked to the asshole in like 3 weeks. And then people were telling me that he said that I broke HIS heart. WTF?! ALSO, my friend Dylan told me that Rodger said that Swine wants to beat my ass. WHATTHEFUCK! Man I would fuckin stomp her! And then when i confronted them about these rumors yesturday of course Rodger's lying ass denyed it. And I told him that I already know not to trust him casue he is a pathological liar. Then I turned to Swine and asked her about her saying she wanted to fight me. She came back with "oh no im a peaceful person blah blah im a whore." But two second before I got over to them, Natalie and Daniel were talking to them and they told me that she said that she thinks I'm all talk. Does this bitch not know that I will fuck her up?! I'm so fuckin sick of high school. All this bullshit drama. >_<

And my mum! Omfg! Just casue she is fuckin insane, doesn't mean she has to take it out on me! I took a shower and when I got out, i wrapped myself in a towel and went into my room. I open my laptop and saw my Devin online. So i started talkign to him. My mum comes in and startes bitching at me about being in front my computer with only a towel on. Apperntly she thinks Ima go and show my boobies to everyone over the compter. -__- So she told me to put some clothes on and she took my computer. So after I put my jammies on, I went out in the living room to ask for it baack and she said no and not till she was done going through it. >:( WTF. She told me when she gave me the computer, she wouldn't be going through it cause its my personal business, but she decided to be a bitch and go through my computer. I don't have anything bad on it but just cause I was in the middle of something and she take it away just to be a bitch. OMFG I'm so sick of her. Like teenage daughters are always having problems with their mums, but my mum is like 10x worse just cause she suffers from depression and menopause and I'm betting on bipolar disorder. So you have to tip toe around her so she doesn't flip a shit.

I honestly wish I had a relationship with my mum that i could actually talk to her about things going on in my life. Like some of my other girl friends and there mum. They can come home from school and just be like, "OMG Mum! You never guess what happened today with that guy I like!" I can't do that with my mum. She won't care. She will either tell me to go away or "shush" me cause she's watching a show. Plus my mum has a drinking problem and drinks cause she's depress which makes it ALL so much worse. So when she starts drinking she gets all lovey and always trying to crawl into bed with me and cuddle with me. I'm 16 years old, I don't want to cuddle with my mum. So 16 years do, don't get me wrong, but that's cause they have a good relationship with their mum. Not mine. When I was little and i wanted to sleep with my mum, she would get all mad cause she didn't want me in bed with her. It's to late to fix things with her now. And it's not my fault

On a brighter note, tomorrow is Friday. I'm hanging out with some friend tomorrow including Rebecca :) I'm sorta excited to see her. I'm hopeing some chemistry will be there.

Because I Got High.

Heey BlogSpot :)

*Note: Not gonna lie, I'm pretty high right now, so excuse me now if a sentence sounds weird or words are not spelled correctly.

Today was a pretty good day all around. Nothing EXCITING happened. I hung out with Natalie and Christine and Thomas after school. Christine, Thomas, and I put theses chink drops in our eyes. Like they were from Japan or something. It was suppose to make your eyes feel much better. It burned like hell when i first dropped them in. But then they felt like a nice coool breezze!! It was niice. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo on my hands. On my right hand, on the upper palm, I want it to say "Bitches". Then on my right knuckels, I want Beat. Then on my left hand, on the upper plam, I want "Get" then on my left knuckles, "Down" So when I put my hands next to eachother with open plams and it says "Bitches Get". Then slap my hands close and put knuckels together and its says "BEATDOWN". hahaha. Ithough it would be a good idea for a tattoo x) And I wans percings too. Like my tounge and maybe a stud on my nose. I don't know. I want a lot of stuff in life. But we can't always get what we want cause if we did, i would of had Rodger,(ew nvm scratch that.) Dave or Rebecca. But he's not "emotinally" ready and Andrew and Natalie are telling me not to bother with her like that. Soo Idont know...

Blaah being High and ranting makes me more tired....
Better daays :)

If I Were A Boy.

Hey BlogSpot :)

Today as a pretty chillin day. I hung out with Andrew, our friend Kitty from school and her boyfriend who is also an old friend of mine and Andrew's. We just played some video games and watched South Park. Pretty lazy daay.

I've been talking to Rebecca a little bit lately. I've been pretty much flirting up a storm and I gusse it's working cause she says I'm making her happy. And in the minst of all this flirting, she said she really wanted to kiss me again. :) That made me smile super big casue I was thinking the saame thing. She also said that when she makes the azn smily (^_^) that it means she's super happy. and she made that smiley quite often. She gave me a little nugget of bud in the shape of a heart. I don't wanna smoke it casue it cuute lol. If i do smoke it, I wanna smoke it with her. I gusse I'm gonna try and get over Dave, since it's a waste of time and I gusse nothing is gonna happen between us :l I serisouly fail with guys. I wish I was a full on lesbian haha! So I won't have to worry about guys hurting me casue they (most, not all) don't know how to treat girls. Girls are more sensitve twoards their feelings. I like the song "If I Were A Boy" casue I feel if i did get a girlfriend, thats how i'd treat her. x)

Gingerfag and Swine lasted longer than i though. I gusse there one month is tomorrow or somthing. I hope they both have a nice herpes, syphillis life. :)

Dancin' Fools

Hey Bloggspot,

So last night was SOO AMAZING! Yesterday in general was pretty great. I hung out with Dave :)
We had a little magical adventure to the French Banquet. I'm not gonna lie, we were looking pretty classy. haha. It took us a while to get there cause we were waiting at another trolley station for about 2 hours my friend Rebecca to meet up with us and give me something. Dave and I were suppose to get a ride to the Banquet but waiting for Rebecca took a while and we missed our ride and had to take the trolley. It was a nice trolley ride. A little quiet but nice. Then we finally got off the trolley and took the bus down by Mission Bay and went to this really nice place for the Banquet. When we got there, we were already bored, so we jsut ate and left. We wanted to go to Andrew's kickback more anyway. While waiting at the bus stop, Andrew calls me and he's like freaking out and it sounds like he's crying. He was just saying how he kicked everybody out because they were making fun of him or something. So I was all worrried casue he was alone and so i was freaking out and Dave was trying to calm me down. So I was in a real hurry to get there. Well to sum it up, when I got there, they were all just trying to hide from me and like suprise me. Those assholes -__- but it was all made better casue there was still loads of alcohol left haha! So I made me a drink right away. By like 11 o'clock, everyone was pretty trashed. We played spin the bottle. haha. at first we just did pecks but THEN we decided to just make out with the person it landed. Didn't matter if it was a boy or girl. Then we didn't even care about the bottle anymore. EVERYBODY was making out with somebody! I even made out with Andrew! Haha I don't even know how that happened. He just walked up to me, said i was his best friend, then we just started mackin! Haha! I even made out with Natalie. haha! But the main person I had on my lap all night was Rebecca. x) We were making out basicly ALL night.
She's amazing. You could say I have a little crush x) She's like really pretty and an amazing kisser! lol. It was good thing she was there because Dave apperntly didn't want to kiss me cause he said he likes me to much or somthin. But Natalie talked to him or something and he came over and made out with me. Not gonna lie, it was pretty baad x) BUT later that night people were making out even more everywhere, i was sitting therre and he said he wanted to make out with some one. And I was very wery on making out with him again since the first time was bad but this time, it wasn't. Like I got butterflys. Then when we pulled away i swear i heard him say "wow". But I was drunk so i don't really remeber, i just remeeber it was amazing :) I slept in his shirt too haha. But he kept wanting to make out with Natalie. -__- and she did make out with him for a bit. Pfff whateves, I had Rebecca. Untill Andrew's brother kept stealing her away from me. Punkass. Doesn't matter, she told me that I was a better. Score! And i gusse she likes me too (She like just told me right now). Score x2! She's pretty amazing<3

Come Clean.

Hey BloggSpot :)

Today was an overall good day. I walked to school with Dave :) I rather enjoy talking with him. He can hold a descent conversation. Yesterday his friend told him to talk to me at lunch. He came and told me the real reason why he changed his mind. He basically said it was cause he wasn't emotionally ready. Which I can completely understand. He just shouldn't asked me in the first place and get my hopes up -__- BUT I'm not mad at him about anyways cause he's a pretty chill friend anyway :) And I guess he reads my blogs (heey Dave lol)

So Friday should be fun. I'm planning on getting high before our French Banquet. haha
I Gotta get money so Andrew's friend can get it for us. It's gonna be Me, Andrew, and two of his friends. I want Dave to come too so him and I can go to the Banquet high together lol. But I don't know if there will be enough. So I'm thinking about buying a 10sack or so later so him and I can smoke it another time :) Also after the Banquet, Andrew is having a kickback at his house. Alcohol yes. Dave wants to come and it'd be pretty cool if he could come. I'd have to talk to Andrew about it. If not, We can have our own party! haha That actually sounds like a plaan.
Well I think im gonna invite him to the bonanza next friday soo yeah that should be fun.

I've also been talking to my ex boyfriend latly. He was my first boyfriend I had. Nice southeren gentleman. That's what got me. He had a cute accent x) We lasted like exctally a month. We went out on May 5th, then "broke up" June 5th which was the last day of school. We didn't really offical break up, he didn't really talk to me that day so I just dubbed it over and we never spoke again, untill i found him on Facebook x) And we've just been talking. I sure wwished we talked this much when we were going out haha But I gusse it just didnt work out for us. I went to a diffrent school then next year anywaay to be with Andrew. But it's pretty cool we still talk :)
Whose says ex's cant be friends :)

No More Drama.

Heey Blogsopt,

You know what I can't stand more than anything? Drama! But I seem to find myself in it anyway.
And it's with two different sets of people. One group isn't really bad drama. It's just gotta do with Dave asking me out then chanigng his mind. And I wanted to know a real reason why. So like a friend of mine wants to talk to Dave.

Then the other set is with Natalie, our friend Christine, and Natalie's ex. I don't even know how i got in that one O_o. *sigh* Drama Drama Drama. This is one reason why I hate high school. All this bullshit drama.

Haha so I didn't say a word to Rodger today. But i guess he was trying to make me mad or somthing in English by showing of his sorry excuse of a hicky on his neck.
It was actually quite revolting, not gonna lie.

It would have been nice to get high today, but Andrew decided not to invite me cause he wanted it to be just him and his other friend. But turns out his friend brought a friend. And he asked if i had my pipe with me, pff like i'd let anyone take my Poppy with out me being there. I love you Andrew, but not that much. And (it's not only Andrew who does this, a lot of my other friends do it to) I hate when people call me when they're doing something that's pretty damn fun and I can hear how much fun they are having, without me -__-. Andrew decided to call me and try to hide the fact that he was high as ass. He failed. Plus his friend were laughing and shit in the background. Pff. Wtf-ever. See if he comes to the Weed Bonanza next friday, he proboly will...BUT AS OF THIS MOMMENT he is so uninvited. -__-

Ugh I'm just ranting casue im fusturated about all this shiit. Makes no goddamn sense to be SO stress of this crap. I really need to hit something or someone. Or a drink OR A BOWL. >:(
FML.

Get Crunk.

Sup BloggSpot :)
My weekend had been pretty amazing! The party Friday was pretty fun. Andrew got crossed-faded for the first time. haha we were ALL pretty cross faded. It was pretty fun beside the fact that it seemed like everyone around Andrew and I were getting some action. Laame. But whateves, we still be cool :) Andrew's parents went outta town on Friday, or should i say outta the counrty. So Andrew's brother decided to have a little kickback. My friend Sydne came to my house that night and I was talking to Andrew on AIM. He "invited" (when i say invited i mean i invited myself) over to join him so he didnt have to get drunk by himself. So Sydne drove us over to Andrew's house, and by the time I got there, Andrew had already had a cup and a half of some rum and coke. He was pretty tipsy haha. It was funny to watch him. Then i joined in on the drinking and got pretty tipsy also. I could of crashed there with Andrew but Sydne didn't feel like stay and wanted to go back to my place, so we left around 12:50. I have a feeling Andrew is gonna be my new party buddy! Haha! But in a way a feel like a mircoinch bad cause before Andrew met me he was pretty SxE BUUUT i walzted in and introduced Pot and Alcohol. But at the same time, Andrew is a smart boy and my BFFL and.....I have no idea where i'm going with this. haha SHIIIT were teenagers! What else are we suppose to do? Read a book? I THINK NOT! lol. He's still doing fine in school so its not effecting anything. So were fine!

School is almost over. In about two weeks we will be out of school. We won't start school till September 4th i think? Sometime in Septemebr. I think that is waaay to long. I hate summer break just casue I have nothing to do and school keeps me busy. I should be signing up for summer school. All my freinds are so they can get ahead. Ehh Idk. :l

So Rodger pretty much hates me, and I could care less. After my last post, the next day at school he asked me if i posted something on MYSPACE about him breaking up with his girlfriend. I tolf him i didnt post anything on myspace about it. The next day when i got home, he sent me a message calling me a liar with my last post copy and pasted in to it. Then he said,

"What the fuck man shit will never go back to that way and thanks for really wanting my relationship to go well I really believed you when you said you didnt say that, well you fuckin liar have a nice life"

Okay First of all, Wtf was he doing to me for the last 7 months? Making me think he really liked me. Telling me he "loved" me and shit. Lying to me. So why is he getting so butthurt.
And Second of all, HE DID SAY THAT HE WAS THINKING ABOUT BREAKING UP WITH HER CASUE HE SAYS SHE BITCHES TO MUCH!
I really DGAF anymore. He can have a nice life being an asshole, lying, punkass, dickheaded, GINGERFAG! (yes he is a ginger)
And I hope you read this Rodger.
Enjoy your Swine Flu.

Much Like Falling

Heey Bloggspot :)
(its 12:14am so when i say today, i mean May 14th)

So Today was a pretty chill day. Nothing exciting happened. Except in English. I overheard Rodger talking to his friend about breaking up with his girlfriend. And i'm not gonna lie, I got kinda, well not happy but like, i smiled. I just think that if/when they break up, me and him could just go back to where we were. I hate to say it, but i do miss him a lot. Even though we weren't like officaly goinf out, i still like being around him and the way he treated me. And his kisses, I miss them the most. He would kiss me on my nose and forehead and it was just super cute casue i never had a guy treat me they way he did. I miss that feeling. But if him and I don't ever go back, I have a second option.
There's this girl at my school who i sorta have a crush on. She's like a real sweetheart and makes me laugh sooo hard :) She's told me that she's used to like me and i think she still does. SO I think ima try to work with that :) pfff i dont need guys x)

Friday is gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOO epic! It's my friend birthday party and were gonna get FUCKED UP OUTTA OUR SKULLS! haha And i'm bring Andrew with me cause he's never been drunk before. So im just gonna take his drinking virginity like i took his pot smoking virginity x)
I'm such a bad person BUT I DGAF! haha

Get Bodied

Heey Blogspot,
Great News!!! Barbizon called me last night at accepted me! :DD I was so excited when i fouund out! I screamed in the lady's ear. haha. They said they were going to call at 7:30. When 7:30 rolled around and no phone call I thought they weren't going to calling. Then, 7:50 came and the phone rang AND IT WAS THEM CALLING TO TELL ME THEY LIKED ME AND THAT I HAD A PRETTY FACE AND GREAT CONFIDENCE AND THEY WANT ME TO WORK FOR THEM! :D
I was beyond happy! They told me to get started on it, i have to start going to classes and that they think i'm a good actor too so they want me to take classses for that also. BUT, the classes are hella expensive. The acting classes are $1,300 and well as the modeling classes. But i can do a payment plan and pay $155 at each class. It a lot of money but it will all hopfully pay well in the end :)

Model Behavior/ Happy Mother's Day

Hiya BlogSpot :)
Happy Mother's Day! I woke at Natalie's house this morning.
She went insane last night. She invited me over last night because she had a bottle of "Hot Sex" she wanted to share with me. HaHa! It's a type of drink, get your head outta the gutter. x)

So yesterday was GREAT. I went to an open casting call for a modeling agency called Barbizon.
It was so amazing! I brought Andrew with me for support. He was just as nervous as I was! I had to walk down a little runway then at the end of it i had to read this little script then when i got off the runway they interviewed me. They said I have a pretty face and a nice walk and beautiful nails and just asked about how much i like modeling and that i need to get my grades up and that if i made it that they will call me on Tuesday at 7:30. I'm super excited! If I make it and become a model, traveling the world, Andrew will be coming with me. :) My bestest friend. I really hope I make it. I'm glad things are changing for the better :)

Send Me On My Way

Hey BloggSpot,
Today was just like up, up,up, plunge down, up, up, plunge back down. :l
It started "up" cause i was excited to talk to Dave to tell him my answer (yes) so i was waiting all day for 7th period to roll around. Then it finally came and i was gonna tell him after school and after school he called me over and i was all anxious cause i thought he was gonna ask me what my answer was. Complete opposite. He wanted to tell me that he had a problem and that he couldn't date cause of something wrong with his family or some shiit. He said he couldn't tell me why. I told him that if he didn't tell me that i would think of it as bullshiit. Then he said he wouldn't lie to me and feels horrible. So that sucked. So after school, Andrew and my other bestfraan Daniel and we went to Harry Griffen Park and hung out wtih some other friends. We had a good laugh and had fun. Andrew and I got in a hair pulling fight and rolled down a hill and then just layed there with Daniel. Then at like 4:30 Daniel relized he had to get going back to school so his parent could go pick him up so he left. Then Andrew and I got a ride to his place and we just hung out on the computer untill we went to church. I like going to church with Andrew cause we have a fun time laughing and not paying attetion. lol So that cheered me up.
Then when I got home, Daniel's friend Joshua AIMed me asking if Daniel was at school today casue he hasnt heard from him all day. And that werid casue he calls him everyday and he wasn't even on the computer. So we were getting a little worried. Joshua kept getting Collect calls but couldn't answer them. Then he got a call from Daniel saying that he was late for his parents to pick him up and they refused to go get him. So he was wondering around the mall at 10:30 at night. I told Andrew about it and since he lives near the mall Andrew went to go look for him with his sister. They looked at our park and they walked down to the mall, then their brother went and helped then look. I'm on the phone with Andrew right now. They are still searching. It is 12:52 am. and I am worried shittless. I really hope we find him. I wanted so badly to go with them and help look, but the buses stop running at like 10. If he's at school tomorrow, ima slap the shiit outta him. I really really really REALLY hope he's okay. He's a smart boy, I'm sure he'll be okay. I hoope.<3