Lucid Deamer.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was an amazing day. I hung out with a friend I haven't seen in AGES. Cody :D We went to Hillcrest with Devin and looked around some shops. Then Devin left so Cody and I went to Jack in the box casue we're fat and like to eat. Now Cody is VERY fluent in ASL (American Sign Language). He can pretend to be deaf and get discounts on things. Like...our food at Jack in the box! The total was 3 something and we only had two somethin haha. Cody has magical Sign language powers. Did you kow there is porn for deaf people?? DeafBunny.com
Look it up xD
HaHa Oh I'm so glad we hung out today. I missed him.

So for the last few nights, I've been trying to have a Lucid Dream. For those who don't know what those are, It's a type of dream you have when in the dream, you are aware that you are actually dreaming. It's pretty cool because you're able to control what goes on in it. And my dreams have been getting outta hand lately and I'm not liking it. I would like to have at least one thing that I am in control of. Everything else is outta wack. Sometimes I just wish I could live in a Lucid Dream. Life would be much easier. I've had one Lucid Dream that I could remember. I didn't do anything amazing though. But If I have one anytime soon, I just wanna fly. That's it. I just wanna fly. Where?
Around the City...
Around the State...
Around the Country...
Around the World...
I just want to keep flying out until there is only silence.
The silence isn't that bad.
Just Me, Myself, and serenity.
Or fly somewhere and be something amazing.

But then snapping back into to reality, and I'm only me.
Just Tia.
Not as amazing as everyone thinks...

Ten Million Fireflies.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was a pretty great day. I hung out with my BFFL Dylan :) I love hanging out with him. He always knows how to make me laugh. Captain Dilllard + Tituba= Best Pirates on Candid Island :D

Yesturday was Andrew's birthday. He is now 15 finally. But the age doesn't really matter to me since I consider him older than me in my head anyway x) Natalie and I went to his house and baked brownies. Then Jay and Alyssa came over and we all chilled for a bit then they left and I spent the night. Good day :)

Saturday was a really good day. It was my friends brithday party and she's like loaded so she had her party at this really nice house. I invited Alyssa with me. It was fun none the less. It was the first time we saw eachother since the break up and it went very well. But I noticed, the way I act towards her, I can see why she started liking me only as a friend. The way I acted towards her didn't change from when we were together, beside me holding her and her hands and stuff, that I miss very much :l It was weird not being able to hold her. But I got over it after we...loosed up at the party. But I'm glad were still close friends. I'm pretty much over it.
The situation, Not her...
I even saw my ex boyfriend there. Now I was NOT expecting that. But It was nice to see him. He lost a lot of weight and cut off his jew fro x) He looks good :)

But all and all, things have getting a wee bit better. Life is slowly picking its self back up and going back into rotation. Slowly, but surely :)
I even have a new crush on somone. BUT I AIN'T TELLIN NO ONE SO DON'T ASK.
It will never happen :p haha

"I'd like to make myself believe,
That Planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep). " -Owl City,Fireflies

I Can Do Bad By Myself.

Hi Blogspot,

We'll it was nice while it lasted. It was AMAZING while it last. :(
I got a little text during English class while i was in instene actress mode. It was from my "Sweet" Alyssa. And it said the words everyone dreds to hear; "Uhm can we talk". My stomach dropped from there. I tried not to think the worse, but of course the worse happened. She broke up with me via text message. I was speechless. I couldn't move, or breathe and I just bursted into tears as I was reading aloud to the class. My friend Alec asked me if I wanted to go outside and he walked me outside and I told him what happend and he just gave me a hug and told me how everything is gonna be okay. He's a real great person who conferts me when I'm upset with relationship problems. I seriously cried for 2 hours. From 4th period to 6th. It was horrible. Everyone was trying to cheer me up at lunch. I got a few laughs but it didn't really help...

Her reason is still confusing. She said cause yesterday when we hung out, she said she felt "odd" and that she can't be more than friends with me. So I gusse that one day, overthrew every other amazing momments we had. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I serisously give up.
And I DGAF about what other people say.

Relationships are completely pointless in my opinion. Nothing last forever. Relationships have absolutly no point to them. Sure you're with someone who makes you the happiest you've ever been in your life and you'd be lucky to call them yours. But I have friends I can call MY friends and will be there for me. I don't need someone else to be my "significant other" to make me happy. Yeah sure I was oh so happy with Alyssa and I thought she felt the same. But all I'm ever gonna be is a friend. So that's all I really need. And people wonder why I'm so afraid to fall in love. This reason right here. Heartbreak is a bitch. I don't need to be in a relationship that has no actual point to it then just to be together. I Can Do Bad By Myself

I don't want to stop being her friend though. I care for her to much to throw her outta my life.
I think i'm always gonna have feelings for her. But that's something I'm gonna have to get the fuck over now huh? I'm just hurt and feel stupid that I actually thought we were gonna last. I gusse Andrew was right when he said "For now". I'm still very hurt and just might be for a bit.
But I gusse Time Heals All Wounds.

[Insert Clever Tittle Here]

Heey bloggspot,

I'm really loving the way life is going for me lately. School's going great. All my teachers are pretty chill and nice. Alyssa and I are doing pretty great. Life is just looking up.

Today was a pretty great day overall. I woke up at Andrew's and we went to church. Funny thing happened there: Since it's a mexican church, I have to get a translator ear piece thing and there is a lady who sits and translate it. The precher was going over a verse and the translator is like,
"They put the wrong verse in the english translation, It's in the bible, look it up."
And then i just start LAUGHING soo hard and Andrew looks at me and I tell him and he starts laughing to. I though it was pretty funny.

After church we had lunch at Andrew's grandma's house then Andrew and I headed to the mall to meet up with Alyssa and we all just hung out at the mall. I saw some friends I haven't seen in a while. So that was fun :)

I am serisouly soo happy with Alyssa. I've never been this happy with someone.
And I'm glad it's her.<3

Psycho Beach Party.

Hey Blogspot,

Today was a GREAT day. Alyssa and I had a double date wtih Ian and Natalie. We all took the trolley and went to the beach. It was pretty amazing. We had fun splashing in the waves and diving and yelling at Ian to stop swimming so far out so we wouldn't have to save him for dying in the rip tides. We had a bunch of laughs. It was a perfect day to end the summer :)
Alyssa and I even had our first kiss<3

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW! I'm sooo excited!
New Year, a better Me :D

Crossroads..

Hey blogpost :)

Today was a nice daay :) Alyssa came over and we watch movies in my hot-as-balls house.
We watched 'Ice Age' and 'SawII'. We had to lay sharing an ice pack to keep cool. haha
I love being in her company. We have lots of laughs and that makes me happy. I'm so happy were together<3

School starts this Tuesday and I couldn't be more excited! I'm gonna go back with a new attitude. I'm gonna try and be nicer to people, get better grades and all that chest nut. I'm really gonna try hard. This is my junior year, I should make the best of it. I'm gonna strive to be more responsible too. I got some job application the other day so ima get a job, get my own money and buy my own stuff haha. LIKE A CAR! Haha

I like how much happier i've been with Alyssa :)

"No one hears her lonely sigh,
There are no blankets where she lies.
In all she deepest dreams the gypsy flies
With sweet Alyssa..."